Personal Guardian
by Tekko
Summary: Some people are able to see ghosts, spirits and the undead. Sora could see his guardian angel. Yaoi, Lemon


**Author's Notes:** Whew! It's been a long, loooong time people. I'm so sorry about taking forever to post - well, anything, let alone update _'Made of Memories_' at all ;; I've been working on this one for quite a while and recently got bitten in the arse by a rabid plot-bunny and I'm hoping that people will enjoy it as much (or even _half_ as much) as I enjoyed writing it.

**Disclaimer:** No. Just…no.

**Everything Else:** Reviews and concrit are loved! (that's constructive criticism for those who don't know :D) Please please _please_ if you're adding this to your favorites, _say something!_ Even if it's just 'good work!' or 'lolz jur st00pid!' It's always a disappointment to see more adds than comments in my inbox D: D: D: Thank you, and goodnight!

**-----**

Some people went around claiming that they could see ghosts, spirits and all kinds of unseen being roaming the earth. Others claim to have been up ducted by aliens or to have seen UFO's shooting through the sky at night. Sora had never seen a ghost or an alien, but he could see one thing that others couldn't.

His guardian angel.

The quiet figure had been around for as long as Sora could remember, standing silently in the background as he went about his life. As a baby he would babble on for hours to apparently no one, but _he_ knew what Sora was trying to say and would smile, a comforting twitching at the corners of his lips.

It was unnerving for his parents that his first word wasn't 'mommy,' 'daddy' or even 'boat,' his favourite toy. It was a name.

"Riku."

**-----**

"Can't you see him?"

Sora, age five, looked eagerly up into his mother's eyes. The woman, just over five feet with tumbling brown curls, smiled down at her son and he knew what she'd say even before she opened her mouth. "Sora, sweetheart, I'm sorry. Riku is for your eyes only."

Pouting at the older woman Sora turned to look behind him and she frowned, worry slipping in to her eyes. Of course some children - especially with no siblings - made imaginary friends. She couldn't recall ever hearing a case of a child having one from such a young age, though. He knew this 'Riku's' name before he could even say his own.

"Maybe," she said after Sora turned his attention back to her, looking somewhat downtrodden. "You should speak to someone who might understand."

-----

Miss Gainsborough, as far as Sora was concerned, was the nicest woman (aside from his mother, of course) in the whole wide world. She let him play with blocks, draw, squish clay and _listened_ when he talked about Riku. She was pretty and motherly and had a kind smile that made Sora feel like he couldn't do or say anything wrong.

"Is Riku here now, Sora?"

Not looking up from his drawing the brunet boy nodded, brown spikes bouncing with each bob of his head. "He's always here," he said, coloring in the house before moving on to draw several stick-figure people.. "Since forever."

Aerith nodded, taking down notes in her pad. "I see. It must be nice, having someone to talk to all the time." The boy shrugged at that, putting down the light-colored crayon for a chocolate brown one. He had insisted on sky-blue paper to draw on today and she was curious as to what he could be drawing to ask for that specifically.

"He doesn't talk much," Sora continued, crayon fisted in one hand as he did his spiky mane on the smallest figure. "Just likes to watch." More scribbling could be heard but Sora stayed focused on his task, finishing his and his mum's hair before getting the yellow for his father.

"Interesting. Does he play with you at all?" Imaginary friends were usually sprung from loneliness of the child or as an outlet for disruptive behaviour. As Sora's mother insisted that he would rather sit in his room and play then run through the house with scissors, the psychiatrist assumed that this 'Riku' was meant as a play-buddy.

She was surprised when Sora shook his head. "He doesn't like to interfere." He had put the yellow down for _silver_, of all colors, pausing over his work to frown up at the pleasant woman. "What's interfere mean?"

_Very interesting,_ Miss Gainsborough thought to herself as she jotted a few quick notes, giving Sora a soft smile as she wrote. "To mess around with or become a part of," she explained. Sora nodded, turning back to his work. "What is it that you're drawing, Sora?"

The boy had made short work of the silver and moved on to the white, making large sweeping motions with his fisted hand. After a moment he looked down at the page, seemingly satisfied. "My family."

"Oh, really? May I see?" She knew that Sora loved to show off his work and would anyway but it helped to express interest in it and she was honestly curious. Sora nodded, picking up the sky-blue paper to hand over which Aries took it in delicate hands. Looking from the boy to the sheet she quickly took in the image; a crudely drawn house with four figures standing outside of it. What caught her eye was the large sweep of white behind the silver-haired stick figure standing beside the figure of Sora. "And who is everyone here?"

Standing from his small chair to peer over the sheet Sora pointed at each figure. "Dad and mom and me and Riku." He looked up suddenly and beamed. "Thank you."

"I'm sorry?" Aerith was more than a little surprised at that, thinking that the words had been directed at her. At Sora's confused look followed by a light blush she placed a hand lightly on his shoulder. "What was that, Sora?"

"He was looking over your shoulder," the boy mumbled, scuffing one of his dusty sneakers against the ground. "He likes it."

_Ah, the infamous Riku, hm?_ A smile tugged at the corners of Aerith's lips and she nodded. "I see. Did he say anything else?"

Sora looked up and over Miss Gainsborough's shoulder, standing quietly for a moment. That was interesting to her as well - he was completely focused, something odd with a child of his age with no stimulus. Looking down at the sheet still in her grasp she took in the figure with sweeping white wings, silver hair and green globes of eyes that Sora drew, much taller than the boy himself was. _Most children make companions their own age where as Sora has made him obviously older. Curious._

"He says that Zack watches you."

The words snapped Aerith out of her thoughts and she stared at Sora for a long moment, mouth open in shock. "I - sorry?" He couldn't have said what she thought he had - she never gave out any personal information of herself to her patients so he wouldn't of heard the name from her - not even the other staff at work knew of…him.

"Zack," the brunet repeated, nodding his head. "Riku says that he watches you. He didn't want you to be sad or hurt again so when he made it to the other side he demanded-" Sora made a face at the word, obviously unfamiliar, "-to be your guardian. What's a ruckus?"

Aerith had gone quite pale at Sora's words and it took more than a moment for her to respond, licking her lips. "A - a fuss. A lot of noise and mess."

"Oh." He was looking behind her again as she sat and he nodded, seemingly to himself, before turning to her. "He made 'quite a ruckus' over there, Riku says. Who's Zack?"

Their session ended shortly afterwards and after Sora was taken home Aerith moved back into her office. Dropping heavily into the plush leather chair she sat for a moment before reaching into the pocket of her dress, pulling out a small key to her desk. Soon enough she had an old photo in her hands of her in a cream sundress with a spiky-haired man, blue eyes sparkling with laughter. He had an arm wrapped around her shoulders and she was covering her mouth with one hand, amusement apparent in her eyes. _Zack._ Holding the photo she slowly brought it to her chest, head bowing forward.

And cried.

-----

Sora had learned some time ago, at age twelve, not to speak of Riku. No one believed him, as they couldn't see him, and it only made his parents worry. They seemed relieved when he stopped trying to convince them that the silent companion was really there - stopped talking about him altogether - though at times he would stop in the middle of a sentence and just stare off into space, mind elsewhere.

It was around this age that Riku began to talk more.

"Your mother's worried," the silver-haired boy (Sora knew that he was a boy, not a man, now that he was older - Riku looked to be an older teen) said as he sat doing his homework. Riku never seemed to sit, lean or lay down unless Sora asked; something that provoked the brunet's curiosity to no end.

"She's always worried," he replied in a low voice, looking up at the other. Riku stood beside the kitchen table where he worked, wings folded neatly behind him and hands shoved into his pockets. He wore a yellow vest and blue jeans - far different from anything Sora's ever seen angels wear in those gothic paintings. Then again, who knew? Maybe they upgraded their style with the times. "It's not like I'm trying to make her go gray."

Riku sighed, nodding. "I know that. It probably doesn't help that you keep drawing me, though."

Sora found that he had quite the artistic talent over the years. His fingers were steady and swift and while the islands were beautiful and would inspire any artist to draw what they saw, the only thing Sora wanted to draw was Riku. His gaze flickered to the fridge where a color drawing of Riku standing on his back porch hung, a 'First Place' sticker on the plastic sheet that protected it. It was the most detailed one he had to date and while his mother had said how proud she was of him when she hung it up, he could see the worry in her eyes.

"Dad isn't worried," he said after a moment, turning his attention back to his homework. "Beside, if I couldn't draw you then I wouldn't draw at all."

Because his eyes were fixed on his worksheet Sora missed the twitching smile that appeared on Riku's lips, downy-soft wings fluttering in appreciation.

-----

"Riku?"

Months after their kitchen conversation Sora lay on his back in bed, staring up at the ceiling. He was starting to get…_feelings_, different from what he'd had before. He found himself on more than a few nights jerking awake in tangled, sticky sheets, and he couldn't keep it to himself any longer.

He heard the other move at his soft call, mattress dipping with the added weight as Riku sat down. "Can't sleep?"

"Mm, that too," Sora murmured in reply. Turning to face Riku's aquamarine gaze the brunet felt his face heat up, quickly looking away. "Riku, I - have you ever felt really hot? Like, warm all over for no reason, but it feels good?" He wasn't sure why he was embarrassed about it - Riku had been with him since the day he was born and everything that Sora had done, he did with Riku beside him.

He was surprised when instead of questioning the seemingly random question Riku chuckled, moving a hand to stroke Sora's hair. The brunet closed his eyes as a gentle warmth ran through him, the comfort in Riku's touch causing him to relax. "You're growing," the silver-haired male replied, fingers gently ruffling brown spikes. "All humans go through it."

Curiosity prickling Sora cracked an eye open, a sleepy smile on his lips. "Did you go through it, too?" he murmured, suddenly feeling very ready for bed. It wasn't often that the winged being touched his ward but whenever he did Sora got the feeling of laying on a sun-soaked beach, tummy full of home baked cookies and warm water lapping at his toes.

"Hmm…" The fingers went still on Sora's head as Riku thought before shifting as he shrugged his shoulders. "If I did, I don't remember - that was ages ago."

"Mmhm," Sora hummed, eyes drifting closed on their own. Trying to hold back a yawn he had to force out the next question, too tired to hold the lulling emerald gaze. "How old are you, anyway?"

Though swiftly falling into the land of dreams Sora thought he heard his guardian answer with, "Older than you could comprehend." Then his world was filled with sandy beaches, home-baked cookies and warm aquamarine eyes.

-----

When Sora got to the stage in life where certain bodily urges willed him to do _things_, he started asking Riku to stay outside of his bedroom. It just wouldn't feel right doing something like that with him _watching,_ though the thought sent coils of heat twisting in the pit of the brunet's stomach.

He also begun to notice his peers around him - of course he had friends of both sexes but _this_ was something different entirely. The girls were getting curves and the boys were loosing their baby fat for leaner figures. Sora found that he was loosing the roundness in his cheeks as well, growing up coupled with his rough-and-tumble playtime accounting for it.

Sitting on the floor in front of the couch in his living room Sora lead his hand around his sketchpad, gaze focused but mind distracted. There was much on his young mind and only one person he trusted enough to ask and not judge or make fun of him. "Riku?"

The silver-haired male, upon Sora's request, had taken up residence on the couch. His long form was stretched across it chest-down, wings splayed out almost lazily with one drooping over the back of the couch, the other wing sweeping gracefully down to the ground. One jean-clad leg stretched out behind him as the other bent to nearly his rear, elbows before him as he propped his head in his hands. "Yes?"

Working on the profile Sora could do by heart the brunet bit his lip. "Is it wrong for boys to like other boys?" His parents had decided to have a date night and Sora wanted to use the rare chance of having the house to himself to get a still-life of his friend inside. Moving on to the silky-smooth strands of silver hair Sora ignored the twisted in his stomach as the other hummed, seeming to consider the question.

"Well, what do you think?"

Were it not for the fact that Sora had spent years dealing with Riku's round-about way of answering questions he may have been annoyed, thinking that he was avoiding it. As it was the response was mostly expected. "I don't know," Sora said with a sigh, refraining from shrugging as he continued to draw. "I've - I think girls are nice, too, but boys feel the same way to me. I don't know if that's…normal."

Sora was surprised enough by Riku's short laugh he nearly punched a hole through his paper; he jerked his hand away instead, blinking at the other. "Riku?"

"I'm sorry," the other breathed, still chuckling. His wings fluttered and rose with each pull of laughter from him and Sora couldn't help but stare. "I've seen tribes of people who ate the flesh of their enemies to gain their power. I've seen a man slay his own family because he was spoken to by the 'voice of God.' I have seen, Sora, a whole race of people nearly pushed into extinction because they were considered inferior. No, you aren't abnormal, Sora." Riku paused, a foot swaying behind him.

"People were put on this earth to love and be loved in return. Who you fall in love with isn't decided by you, but by faith. All you can do is to try and be true to yourself. Does that help?"

Sora, sitting on the ground several feet from where Riku lay, felt the corners of his lips tugging into a face-splitting grin. "Yeah," he murmured, eyes fixed on the unearthly figure before him. "It does."

-----

One night quite some time later Sora was shuffling to his room, already changed for bed. It was a Friday and he and his parents (and Riku, of course) usually stayed up late to watch a movie in the living room. It was all the brunet could do to keep still through the whole thing - his mind had been drifting often and the thoughts would leave him flushed, quickly shaking his head to try and clear them. Riku's solid presence beside him didn't help, either, as the silver-haired male was the cause of his growing problem.

Sora stood in front of his closed door, chewing nervously at his lower lip. He had a feeling that, even though he never said anything, Riku _knew_ what nights he was needed to wait and what exactly Sora did. As if reading his mind the guardian stopped beside Sora, turning to rest his back against the wall next to the doorframe - he had begun to mimic the human habits that he saw when Sora watched TV. "Goodnight, Sora."

"N-night, Riku."

Slipping inside and closing the door behind him Sora took a deep breath, cheeks flushed. _I wonder if he thinks about what I do in here_. The thought was enough to send a shiver of heat through him and the brunet made his way quietly to his bed in the dark room, moonlight filtering through his bedroom window to guide him. Once settled Sora lay on his back, eyes sliding closed as he fell into a familiar fantasy.

In his mind, Riku would be there - ever-present vest and jeans gone in place of a flowing white robe. His wings were be extended nearly to their full length and the silver-haired guardian would approach Sora's bed, crawling up from the foot of it to hover over the boy. _"Sora."_

Eyes closed Sora let his hands do as they wish, one pushing up the hem of his nightshirt. It was Riku who touched him in his mind, gentle fingers moving to push the material out of the way before lightly grazing Sora's nipples. A breathy sigh was pulled from the teen and he arched unconsciously into the touch, tongue darting out to lick his lips.

_He knows what I do in here. _The thought sent a thrill of heat straight to his groin and Sora's other hand moved under the waistband of his pants, fingertips tracing the underside of his length as he bit back a groan. Sora grasped himself fully moments later and gave a firm squeeze, hips jerking at the touch as his other hand pinched at his nipple. _If I'm loud enough, he could listen.._

Turning to burry his face into his pillow the brunet shuddered again, forcing himself still. At the rate he was going just _thinking_ of what Riku could be doing would send him over the edge and he didn't want it to end too quickly.

Taking a few deep breaths to calm himself Sora gave a firm pull of his need, a throaty sigh pulled from his lips. The hand at his chest shifted, sliding across to toy with the other nipple as he lazily stroked.

The fantasy slowly came back to him, Riku's amused sea-green eyes filling his mind's eye as thoughts of him touching Sora's most private of parts returned. Fingers twisting lightly at a pert nipple the brunet stroked his aching cock evenly, growing braver as his arousal did. _He would touch me everywhere.._

On a downward stroke Sora's fingers moved from his cock to the sacs beneath it, the resulting jolts of pleasure from his gentle squeeze causing his toes to curl into the sheets. "Nng-" Thighs parting on their own accord the fingers soon trailed lower, Sora's breath hitching as a fingertip pressed against his puckered entrance. He hadn't tried anything more than brushing against the area down there and he was too wound-up (as well as embarrassed) to look for what he would need to do anything more than that.

It wasn't long before the exploring digits made their way back to Sora's throbbing need, stroking steadily. Hips rocking lightly into his open palm short gasps of breath left Sora's parted lips, eyes still closed as he imagined Riku stroking him, sending pleasant jolts of heat up his spine. A soft chant of _'Riku, Riku,'_ left the burnet's lips as the pressure in the pit of his stomach begun to build, muscles in his thighs twitching as he got close, so close-

_Maybe - maybe Riku touches himself, too._

-Then he was groaning into his pillow, limbs twitching as his cock bucked in his closed fist. Sticky semi-clear fluid spurted into his palm and sheets and in the back of his mind Sora thought that he'd have to change them before his mum came for the wash but he was feeling much too pleased to think about moving, flopping back onto his mattress, breath coming out in shallow pants.

_Riku…_

-----

"Goodnight, Sora."

It was another evening quite sometime later and the silver-haired guardian was taking up his usual position outside of Sora's bedroom, arms crossing over his chest as he pressed his back against the wall. With downy-soft wings curved around his shoulders to keep from getting crushed and his head bowed slightly forward Sora felt his fingers itch for his sketchpad and pencil, wanting to draw his muse.

His fingers were itching for something else as well.

"Riku?"

"Hm?"

"Could you-" Sora swallowed, shifting a bit. For years he had been doing what he considered very private before bed at night and, as he was sure Riku knew what it was he did, Sora didn't know how the other would react. "Would you come in tonight?"

The winged being looked up at that, aquamarine eyes unreadable.

Sora plunged on. "I mean - you're my guardian, right? So you have to be with me at all times." He paused briefly but when no answer was forthcoming, continued. "I mean, wh-what if a meteor comes crashing through my window? If you're out here, you can't protect me! Or if some crazy guy decides to climb in and try to-"

"Okay."

"-rape me in my- what?"

Riku's expression hadn't changed but his eyes held a bit of amusement, something else flickering in the background before he pushed himself off of the wall. "I said 'okay,' as in yes, I agree."

Sora stood for a moment, shock etched into his features before shaking his head, cheeks aflame. "Um - yeah. T-thanks."

That night it only took a handful of strokes before the brunet spilled his seed into a closed fist, gaze focused on Riku's own sea-green orbs as he watched him.

-----

"I'm leaving."

The words, said so calmly to a now sixteen year-old Sora caused the boy's head to snap around, staring incredulously at the other. "You're _what_?"

The usually peaceful expression on the guardian's face was replaced with a frown and furrowed brows, wings fluttering in agitation. "I'm leaving, Sora. I'm of no use to you here."

Sora sat frozen at his seat on the floor, hand poised mid-correction on the essay he had been drafting. He hadn't, in all of his sixteen years of life, ever thought the day would come that Riku would leave him. With it there and staring him in the face, though, his mind couldn't process what it was exactly that was happening. "Is - is this some sort of joke?" he whispered, blue eyes wide in shock - in hurt.

"No." The ageless being stood before Sora, the low coffee table and a few feet of space being all that separated them. "I've put my hand in so much of your life - too much. It is obvious that in my continued presence will keep you from growing the way you should be." Though his voice was even the celestial being avoided Sora's searching gaze, tone carrying that of something that had been rehearsed over and over again without passion.

The words snapped Sora out of his shock, teen on his feet in an instant. "What the hell are you _talking_ about? I've grown plenty!"

"Sora, sweetheart?" Blue orbs flickered for half a moment to his mother's confused, startled ones, the teen not daring to divert his attention for any longer from Riku. She had been in the other room watering plants when she heard the first startled outburst, small woman setting the watering can down on a nearby stand. "Is something the matter?"

"Tell her that everything's fine, Sora," Riku coaxed him, green orbs fixed on the worried-looking woman. "There's no need to worry her over-"

"Bullshit!"

The sudden outburst caused the brunet's mother to jump but it gave Sora what he wanted - Riku's eyes on his own. "What's this really about? You've never done anything to meddle in my life so why try an feed me this shit now?"

"So- Sora, your language!"

But he wasn't paying his mother any mind, hands curled into fists as he glared hard at, from her eyes, nothing. Only half of the argument could be heard through her ears and it terrified her to see her son in such a state.

"I thought that telling you now would keep you calmer," Riku sighed, shoulders drooping slightly. The motion caused his wings to dip, tips brushing against the ground. "I have strayed from my mission and stolen your youth, Sora. Remaining here will only continue to cause you more harm than good."

Sending an incredulous look the guardian's way Sora shook his head fiercely, taking a step forward and hardly noting when his shin bumps against the low coffee table. "But - you can't! You've been with me my whole life! You can't just decided to up and _leave me_ because - because-"

"Sora," his mother pleaded, her eyes fixed on the boy before her. "Please, calm down! We can talk about-"

"Shut up, mom!"

Eyes going wide at the outburst the small woman cowered as Sora's head snapped around, his lips drawn back over his teeth in a snarl. "You never believed me! You don't understand me, _or_ Riku! You'll sooner to believe that I'm _fucking crazy_ before believing that someone has _actually_ been _looking over me_ all these years! So just SHUT the HELL UP!"

Falling back against the side of the cushioned chair behind her the older woman raised a trembling hand to her face, quiet sobs shaking her frame. Looking back on it Sora would feel horrible but he already felt as if his world were crumbling around him - making his mother cry was the least of his worries.

Riku, who had remained silent during the brunet's snap, watched the boy with sad eyes. "I knew I stayed too long," he sighed, turning. Three long strides and he was past Sora's sobbing mother, making his way to the front door.

Sora's anger turned to a sudden panic, body jerking him into motion. "Wait!" Moving to step around the coffee table his left foot got caught under the edge in his haste, the brunet going down with a curse. Looking up quickly he saw that Riku hadn't turned, hadn't even paused in heading for the door and Sora felt tears burn his eyes, throat tightening so that his voice was a horse, rasping whisper. "I love you."

Riku stopped then, a hand raised to press against the frame of the doorframe of the living room, exit just a half dozen feet away. That moment, when Riku turned and locked burning ocean eyes onto Sora's own pained blue would be forever scorched into the brunet's memory, from the stiff hold of Riku's frame to the elegant sweep of the angel's wings. _Please stay, please stay,_ Sora begged with his eyes, mind chanting it over and over.

_Please stay._

The moments, which seemed to stretch a hundred years yet pass in a blink of an eye, lasted only a matter of seconds in reality. Then Riku smiled, a slight, pained thing that caused Sora's heart to ache upon seeing it.

"I love you, too," the guardian said softly and Sora's heart leapt, hope high. "Goodbye."

Then Riku walked away, emptiness left in his place.

Sora didn't remember scrambling to his feet; he didn't remember running past his mother, who begged for him to stop, or nearly running down his rather who stood in the open doorway in surprise. It wasn't until he was tackled from behind by his father, voice horse from crying and screaming Riku's name that the true reality of the situation hit him.

Riku was gone.

-----

Sora groaned as the back of his head stuck the unforgiving brick of the alley's wall, spots swimming before his eyes. It was late, well past the curfew that his parents had demanded he stick by but he didn't care. He had found what he was looking for.

Gloved hands were quick to pull at the brunet's clothing, swiftly undoing button and zipper of the tight leather pants Sora was squeezed into. "This won't be easy on you," a deep voice growled in his ear before biting down and Sora shuddered, hips arching towards the warmth as his lower half was exposed to the cool night air.

"I don't care," he breathed back, hands wrapping around the older man's neck. It's been four months since Riku walked out of his life and Sora, using the excuse of it being his birthday, decided to go out and celebrate. Smelling of beer and whatever drinks the guys had been feeding him inside Sora soon found himself being ground between two men though neither were the one who he slipped out the side door of the club with.

Fingers curling in insanely long silver strands Sora's hooded eyes take in those of his partner, green so rich that they seemed to glow - though honestly, it was probably just the alcohol in his system making everything hazy and bright. He stiffened as the man reached for his shoulder, knowing that it would be to turn him around and gain easier access to his rear.

"Let me see you," Sora quickly protested, fingers curling tighter in the base of the man's scalp. "Please?"

Pausing the other seemed to consider before smirking, nodding slightly. "Fine. Take off your pants." He was already undoing his own, pulling a condom from his pocket to tear open with his teeth.

The first thrust was rough but not as painful as it could have been - Sora had long ago learned to prepare himself before leaving on one of his trips and the condom was lubricated. But the man was bigger than the guys he had before and the brick bit into his skin through the flimsy mesh shirt he wore, head hitting the cold brick again at the thrust. Legs wrapping firmly around the other's waist Sora forced his eyes open, amused and lust-filled green meeting his own.

The pace was hard and driving, each thrust ramming Sora against the hard wall and causing his head to bang repeatedly. It took more than a little effort for him to curl his body just right to keep from getting a concussion and get the other to pound against the bundle of nerves within him, hissing as his nerves were set on fire. The fantasy was easier then, changing the glowing hard eyes into something softer and loving, the straight strands hanging around him just a half-shade lighter.

Moaning Sora clung to the hard body against him, hips rolling in time with the thrusts. _Riku, Riku, Riku-_ It was when unforgiving leather grasped his cock hard and begun to quickly stroke that the brunet lost it, body jerking as he cried out, "Riku!" Orgasm slamming into him with the force of a freight train Sora groaned as the stranger continued to thrust into him, taking a few long moments before he stiffened and shuddered against the teen. The two remained, one standing and the other with his legs hanging limply around the taller form's waist for a long moment, the older man pulling out roughly and moving to leave Sora to fall on the hard ground. The brunet was slow to get to his feet, just managing to stand on wobbly legs by the time the other was fully dressed.

"You're good, kid," the deep voice purred, moving over to Sora to grasp a hold of the boy's chin. "But that's not my name. It's-"

"Your name doesn't matter," Sora said shortly as he jerked his head away, wincing as he bent to grasp a hold of his pants. Luckily only one leg had been taken off so he just had to step to pull the other one on, tugging them up gingerly. "We won't meet again."

His eyes were fixed on the dark boots before him as he did buttons of his pants so Sora couldn't see the other man's expression, his own set in a grimace at the pain shooting up his rear. "Very well," came the reply and the boots were gone, footsteps followed by noise as the side door was opened and quickly cut off as the door slammed shut. Sora stood there, body aching from the abuse, dirt and grit stinging at his back where the brick had cut through his shirt and skin with his eyes on the ground. It was a long moment before he sighed, running a hand over gelled-back strands.

"You didn't come for me this time…either," the brunet muttered before pushing himself into motion. He knew that his parents would chew him out but he had gotten used to tuning them out, agreeing to whatever punishment and new rules they came up with just to break them the first chance he got. It didn't matter.

He had lost his light.

-----

"It's been a long time, Sora."

Sora sat in silence, arms crossed stubbornly over his chest. The only reason he was there in Miss Gainsborough's office was because his father had literally locked him in the car and escorted him in through the door. He had considered trying to make a break for the window but Sora didn't have anything against the quiet woman. That, and just outside her office window was a sheer drop-off. There were quite a few of those on collection of lands that made up Destiny Islands.

"Your mother told me what happened," she continued when the boy refused to respond, sitting across from Sora in a chair rather than from behind her desk. She always seemed to honestly want to make a personal connection with her patients and it was the little things that showed it. "About Riku."

Stiffening at the name Sora scowled, arms staying tight across his chest as he looked decidedly away from her. He could feel her shifting, the slight wavering in the air to the right of him, before she sighed. "I know that it's hard to loose a friend," she said quietly, voice full of understanding. "It isn't an easy thing to go through."

"You don't know what you're talking about," Sora snipped, shooting her a hard look that wasn't quite a glare. She seemed momentarily surprised before smoothing out her features, hands folded on her lap. He had always remembered her wearing pink in his youth but it was a white dress today, the very end of it fading to a blue.

"You would be surprised." The two sat in silence for a few moments, Sora's expression slowly softening before looking away. "Do you remember our last session, Sora? What happened that day?"

Blinking the teen turned back to look at her, suspicious yet curious. "What? That was like ten years ago or something," he muttered though considered the question. "I - think I drew a picture. Ugh, it was so bad." He wrinkled his nose and the doctor laughed quietly, offering him a soft smile and a nod to continue when he paused. "And I asked a bunch of stupid questions. Oh-" Sora paused, looking away. "…I - mentioned someone. I don't remember the name…"

"Zack," Miss Gainsborough supplied, shifting forward a bit. "You told me that Zack was watching over me."

"Oh, that." Sora shifted uncomfortably at that, eyes fixed on his knees. "Sorry about that. I had probably heard someone mention something and-"

"No, Sora."

Looking up at her in confusion at that Sora watched as she rose, a hand slipping into the pocket of her dress. A small key was pulled out and she offered it to him, Sora looking from her to the key and back in surprise. "Between the top and middle drawer of my desk, there's a small compartment. Open it."

Sora, more than a little uncertain of what was going on took the offered key, watching her for a moment before rising to his feet. Going over to the desk he found the compartment soon enough, using the key to unlock it before pulling it open. There was a scattering of papers and trinkets but the thing that stood out was the eight by eight picture, reaching in to retrieve the photo. "Is this?…"

"It is," she replied quietly, her back to the desk and the boy. "Read the back."

Flipping the photo open Sora noted a messy scrawl, somewhat faded from age and handling. _'See? I told you it would come out just fine! If you ever miss me when I'm gone just look at this and know that somewhere out there, I'm thinking of you. Love forever - Zack.'_

"We were supposed to move out here together," Miss Gainsborough said quietly from where she sat, seeming to be staring off into space. "I came out first and he was going to follow two weeks later to finish up with his work as a fire fighter out there. From what I was told, the day before he came out-" Her voice wavered for a moment and Sora almost told her to stop before she continued on. "-there was a fire downtown. Midgar is a big city and their apartment buildings can be as high as dozens of stories."

Taking a breath she continued. "Zack was - going through the halls, checking each apartment to make sure that everyone had escaped. There were some rooms unchecked but the chief was calling for everyone out - the fire had been going for quite some time and the building's frame was shaky. Zack didn't listen, though - he always said that he couldn't leave a site knowing that in a room unchecked there could be someone who needed help." A pained huff of a laugh was pulled from her at that and Sora saw her shake her head.

"In the last apartment - there was a little girl. Her parents had gone out for a date night and left her tucked in bed. Zack found her and was heading for one of the windows where the had set up men to catch people but - but the floor gave out." She shuddered at the words, the motions wracking her frame. "His leg went through. So he - before it could give out - he threw her out the window." Sora could tell that she was crying, voice breaking and shuddering in places. "He threw her out the window, and then the floor caved in. He died before anyone could try to get him out."

The room went silent then, Sora staring wide-eyed at the woman he had looked up to as a child while she sniffed and sniffled, a hand over her face while the other sat curled in her lap. Sora found himself moving before he really processed it, grabbing the box of tissues Miss Gainsborough always had sitting on her desk and moving to crouch beside her, offering the box.

"Thank you," she whispered quietly, taking several to wipe her eyes and blow her nose. Looking at the picture Sora still held clutched in his other hand she reached for it, taking it to flip over and see the happy, smiling face of her past and love. _It's the same dress_, Sora realized as he took another look at the photo, his head throat constricting. "The pain that you're going through - I understand. And I believe." She looked at him then, eyes red-rimmed and looking as if she would cry any moment but smiling all the same. "I believe that Riku is real."

It was then, in the homey office of his child time therapist that Sora felt something in him shift - or rather, something in him _want _to change.

The life he was leading wasn't something Riku would approve of…so he would live better.

-----

"Sora!"

Turning just in time to catch an armful of his friend Sora huffed, wind knocked out of him. "Jeez, Kairi," he managed to croak, grinning even as he tried to breath properly. "Just knock me over, why don't you?"

It was senior year and Sora, after spending the rest of his junior year a semester behind and catching up in the summer, was one of the two-hundred and fifty-two students to graduate. There were students, some still wearing their gowns and caps and parents alike milling about as well as groups of friends chatting excitedly, a click of girls a dozen yards away crying and promising to keep in contact. Sora, with his bright personality, found himself making friends with all kinds of social groups. Kairi was one of the few who he grew close enough to invite over and vise versa.

"I'm soooo proud of you!" The red-head was hugging Sora around the neck and he squawked, the sound seeming to make her realize that he hadn't caught his breath yet as she quickly let go. "We're even going to the same college! Did you get your room placement yet?"

Waiting until he actually caught his breath Sora shook his head. "Not yet. From what I hear there's more guys then girls there so they're having a harder time with me." Sora wanted a single room - something that pretty much every teenage boy going to Twilight University did.

"Well, it would be great if you got a single," Kairi said. She herself didn't mind having a roommate. "I could come over and we could stay up all night!"

Sora laughed. "I think that we're going to have to actually _study_ for college courses, Kai."

"Sora!" Turning at his name the brunet, hair currently balancing his graduation cap, waved over at his parents. His mother looked as if he had been crying and his father was working a camcorder, Kairi posing beside him as he trained it on the two teens from a half dozen yards away.

"You better get going," Kairi said, giving his shoulder a pat as she spotted her own father. "You know your mom is going to want to smother you in lurrrrrve." Laughing at the gagging noises her best friend made Kairi waved, jogging towards the mayor.

Turning to head towards his own parents a sudden wind kicked in, Sora quickly bringing his hand up but just missing his light blue cap. "Shit," he hissed, turning to run after the run-away cap. His mother had told him before they left for the ceremony to keep track of his uniform for her to store for later use and he didn't want to disappoint.

Ignoring the calls from classmates as he darted across the grassy area that counted as the school's backyard Sora crouched low, fingers inches from the cap's edge as he spun in an awkward tumble, tossed by the wind and students bumping it with their legs as they walked about. _Thanks a lot for the help,_ he thought crossly as some stood watching his progress in various states of amusement. The wind seemed to hold its breath for a moment and Sora grinned, hand a hair's breath away-

"Oh damnit!"

The cap was suddenly thrown left and the burnet dove after it without thinking, bent low to the ground to where the wandering cap rolled. With a cry of triumph Sora grasped the edge, fingers digging into the material as he set to keeping from falling onto his face, running forward as he attempted to pull himself back.

The first two running steps carried him off of the lawn and onto the sidewalk. The third and forth had him slipping between two parked cars, pounding heart picking up in pace. By fifth he was almost able to straighten through his body was still being propelled forward and into the path of an oncoming van.

"_Sora!"_

If it wasn't the panicked shout of his name from several different voices across the field that caught his attention it was defiantly the loud honk and screeching tires that followed, blue eyes going wide with surprise and panic. _Stopstopstopstopstop-!_

He knew that he didn't have time but his body was moving for him, legs trying to work quickly backwards to get him out of the way. His panicked mind screamed even as it seemed to go blank, wide blue orbs fixed on the quickly approaching fender of the delivery van.

It was then, in that slow-motion moment that Sora closed his eyes, the sound of screams and screeching tires drowning out as he braced himself. _Riku!_

"Giving up already? Come on, Sora, I thought you were stronger than that."

_Huh? It's - cool. _Slowly willing his eyes to open the brunet took noticed of several things at once; first, there were a pair of strong arms wrapped around his form, holding him upright. Second, the figure holding him was tall, flat chest blocking all light. Third, there was the distinctive smell of freshly baked cookies that reminded Sora of-

Swallowing hard Sora looked up from the infamous yellow vest, the smooth expanse of skin leading to the hollow of a pale throat and into the bright eyes of; "…Riku?"

"Hey." The angelic being was smiling down at the brunet, corners of his eyes crinkling slightly and making Sora itch for a pad and pencil. The other boy was breathtakingly beautiful and the time apart only made Sora all the more aware of it. He watched as the lines around those dancing green eyes smoothed out, a fond sort of sadness coming to them as Riku's image wavered and blurred. "Don't cry, Sora."

_I'm crying?_ The brunet blinked, vision clearing somewhat as twin tears streaked down his cheeks. His own hands were trapped between their bodies and Sora moved them slowly, pressing the palms flat against Riku's chest. "You're real," he breathed, almost afraid to say the words aloud and break whatever spell that had been cast. "You're - really here."

The arms around Sora's form tightened a moment before loosening, the silver-haired male looking down at the awed brunet. "I never left," he admitted in a low voice that made Sora want to laugh and cry at once. "I'm your guardian, Sora. I would never leave you."

The brunet lashed out violently then, Riku almost letting him go in surprise though quickly tightening his hold to keep Sora close. "Liar!" Flush against Riku's chest Sora squirmed and wiggled, trying to free himself enough to get a good hit at him. "You left me! You ran out on me and left me t-to fend for myself a-a-and just-"

"Sora, no." The quiet words were like a breeze off the ocean and thick lashes hid unbelieving blue orbs away. "I left your sight but I never let you out of mine. Things were getting…complicated with my being around all the time and I thought that if I kept my distance, you would develop and grow as you were supposed to."

Though gentle the hold around Sora was unyielding and he slowed his struggles, heart hammering away in his chest as his breath hitched. "Well, it sucked," he huffed against the silver-haired male's chest, lower lip trembling slightly. "Things went to shit when you left me."

"I know."

Thinking back to those dark months without Riku made a deep flush of embarrassed shame wash through the brunet. Riku knew? He was _watching_ and didn't say _anything_? Even though Sora was doing those things _because_ he thought he'd lost Riku?

"That's why I spoke with Zack. And Terra and Willow; your parent's guardians."

An obvious flicker of surprise fluttered over Sora's features at that, blinking slowly. "My parents…" He remembered Riku mentioning other guardians, especially Zack, but he never wondered to ask if there were ones looking over his mother and father. "But - why?"

Seeing that the brunet didn't look as if he were going to try and break away anytime soon Riku relaxed his hold, keeping one arm around Sora's waist to bring the other hand up to brush dark spikes away from the boy's forehead. "Everyone isn't as lucky as you are, Sora," he replied, watching those dark lashes flutter at his touch. "They can't see their guardians. Some are more aware than others and can at least sense someone or something watching over them but that's usually the extent. They had to work especially hard to convince your parents to take you back to Aerith rather than an adolescent doctor on the main island." The fingers moved from Sora's forehead down to his cheek, lightly brushing the smooth skin. "She understood more than anyone else would could have helped you through that."

Sliding a hand up from between their bodies Sora pressed his hand overtop Riku's, leaning into the open palm cupped against his cheek. "I'm sorry," he whispered, feeling the familiar burning once again. "I'm sorry I was stupid. I'm sorry I made you worry. I'm sorry I made you go away-"

"Shh, you have nothing to apologize for, Sora." Riku ran his thumb slowly along the teen's cheekbone, eyes sad. "It's my own fault for letting my feelings for you get in the way of my job."

Sora felt his heart shudder at the words, eyes going wide. _Feelings for me? As in?…_ The slight crinkle at the corners of Riku's eyes confirmed his thoughts and Sora curled his other hand into Riku's vest, fingers looping around one of the crossed belts. "You - can't stay, can you?"

"Not like this," the silver-haired guardian replied and it was then that Sora realized what was missing; his wings. "We're in your mind right now, Sora. Once we let go, you'll be brought back to consciousness."

"And you'll be gone again." The words were a stated fact and Sora brought his other hand from over Riku's to grasp the other belt crossed over his chest. "Well - I'll never let go, then! I won't let you leave like you left me before!"

Rather than try and shake him off as Sora thought he would Riku sighed, hand moving to cup the back of Sora's neck as the teen tilted his head up to glare. "You can't, Sora. You have your whole life ahead of you, promises you've made - what about Kairi? Your father? Your mother?"

"I don't care!" Even as the words left his lips Sora knew how things would end, teeth clenching together. "I'll give up everything just to keep you here. I-" His voice halted, wavered. "I love you."

Riku could see the defeat and resignation in his eyes and smiled, the sight enough to bring grown men to their knees in worship. "I love you, too, Sora." Drawing the teen in for a tight hug the guardian pressed his cheek against the soft brown spikes and murmured; "I'll never leave you, Sora. If you need me, just call my name and I'll be there."

Sora, eyes having slid close felt as Riku lifted his cheek, a light pressure telling him that a kiss had been placed atop his head. Warm, soft lips fluttered over his forehead, over his brow and brushed a cheek before pressing gently yet firmly against his own lips, a tingling warm curling in his very soul. All too soon the lips were gone, arms sliding from around his form as his eyes stayed tightly shut. "Riku…"

"Sora!"

"Oh my god, someone call 911!"

"My baby - my baby!"

The sudden change of sounds and feelings snapped Sora back into awareness, momentarily blinded and disoriented. _Why is everything so bright?_ It took several moments for the brunet to realize that he was laying on his back, staring almost directly into the sun. Squeezing his eyes shut Sora waited as Riku's influence faded and the memories of his moments before heaven came back.

_The van-_

Tilting his head and opening his eyes to avoid the painfully bright light Sora saw that he was half on the sidewalk and half on the grassy field his graduation was being held on, more than two dozen sets of legs moving this way and that. Turning his head the other way he saw the van several yards off, the driver climbing out on shaky legs to make his way over.

"Sora's awake!"

No sooner had the words been spoken there was someone kneeling in front of the brunet, the knees of dark pants all he could see until the other bent. "Sora! Son, can you hear me?" Sora's father hovered close, seeming afraid to touch him but fighting the urge as well.

"Dad…" It was then that he realized the sobs he could hear were from his mother and Kairi, the faces of his other friends sinking in from the distance. Sora's throat was dry and felt weak but other than that couldn't feel anything indicating that he was hit by a van. Sora shifted, rolling onto his side to push himself up into a sitting position. "Dad, I'm fine-"

"Don't you dare, Sora!" A firm hand was pressed against his chest, keeping the brunet from finishing the motion. "Don't even think about getting up until someone comes and checks you out. God, are you hurt? Are you numb anywhere?"

"I'm _fine_, Da-"

"Sora!" The flutter of a airy skirt obscured his vision as Sora's mother dropped down before him, the woman sobbing as she moved to gather him into her arms. "Sora baby, you're alright - w-we're getting you help now."

"Don't move him, dove! He could have broken something." His father's voice cut through the desperate coaxing of his mother and Sora mentally groaned. He knew it didn't matter what he said to anyone; until he was looked over and given the o.k., he would only be allowed to breath on his own. _Sleepy…_

The sound of sharp voices and a distant ambulance faded as Sora let himself drift, body drained as he drifted off to sleep.

-----

In the hospital Sora was more than aching for some time alone. Between the several different doctors poking at him to check for bone, muscle or nerve damage, the shrink on hand checking for brain injuries and his parents and friends all crowding his room he was quickly developing a headache. Eventually all the tests were run and his friends left one by one, parents leaving after a while to get him signed out so that they could return home.

Sitting up in his bed (he was both thankful and not that Destiny Islands was a small town; there were few by the way of accidents and sickly which allowed him to get a room but that also meant more doctors to poke and prod at him when he didn't need it) Sora listened for several heartbeats, the sound of traffic outside and chirping birds filtering in through his cracked window. Legs crossing underneath him he closed his eyes, taking a deep breath. "Riku?"

"You rang?"

Blue orbs snapped open at the familiar voice and his head jumped into his throat, taking in his guardian in all his glory. The downy-soft white wings were present and Sora knew that the other was actually standing at the foot of his bed rather than sneaking into his dreams.

Lips stretching into one of his infamous bright smiles Sora clasped his hands before him. "You came," he breathed. "I - actually wasn't sure if you would."

Riku walked around the foot of the bed, moving to sit on the edge just inches from where Sora's bent knees rested. "I told you I would, didn't I? A promise is a promise."

"Yeah…" He sat silently for a few moments, just taking in the other's presence and beauty. "Thank you for saving me today. My mom was having a freaking cow and I didn't even get hurt."

"To everyone else the van hit you," Riku said, watching as Sora's eyes went impossibly wide. "I just kept you from sustaining damage. Going into your dream taxed your human body quite a bit, though. I'm sorry about that."

Sora laughed lightly, shaking his head slowly with an awe-struck expression. "Believe me, getting a little sleepy is way better than being crushed by a van."

Riku smirked at that. "Indeed."

The two fell into silence again, Sora looking down at one of his bent knees and picking at the fabric covering it while Riku watched him. "Riku?"

"Yes?"

"I-" Swallowing hard Sora tried to get the words together, sucking his lower lip between his teeth as he looked up. "I'm really glad to have you as a guardian, Riku."

The slight smirk that had been playing on the silver-haired male's lips softened, one of those rare endearing smile gracing those beautiful features. "I'm glad that you'll have me, Sora," he replied quietly, reaching out to take the hand on Sora's knee into his own. "I should go."

"I know," Sora whispered, eyes squeezing shut. It wasn't until the feather-light touch of lips against his own that Sora realized the other had moved, leaning in gratefully into the heart breakingly sweet kiss. Then Riku was pulling away and Sora opened his eyes to find his room empty, the tingling in his hand and lips the only indication that anything had happened.

Moments later his parents re-entered his room, a doctor in tow to give him a final once-over before signing off on him. Changing out of the hospital gown and into his street clothes Sora soon stepped out of the room, mother and father having waited out in the hall for him to change.

"Ready to go, champ?" Sora's father asked as he watched his son, thumbs tucked into the pockets of his slacks.

Sora looked back into his temporary room, looking over the rumpled bed and empty chair. His eyes found their way to the window, watching the tall figure with downy-soft wing stand there, eyes fixed on his own as sunlight gave his features a unearthly glow.

"Yeah," Sora said, a slight smile coming to his lips as he turned back to his parents. "I'm ready."

-----

**End Notes:** Wow, that was a monster, wasn't it? For me, at least lol! Reviews are adored and loved! I'll try and respond to everyone as well. I haven't looked over this as a whole so there's probably a buttload of mistakes - sorry! If you point 'em out to me it would be greatly appreciated! -love and cookies for all-


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